"I am your Loyal Guard, Sworn to be at your side, even when you go running off around the city. Do you have any idea how many stripes I've taken because I let you skip out on functions? As if I should have any control over you..." yes, it was all his fault.

Then she poked a chamber pot thoughtfully..."I guess someone could plant a tree in one or something? I mean...no other real use..."

Or they could give one to bar for a punch bowl!